This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
dude. I can hear the air.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
