But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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