high people should be assigned attendants
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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