hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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