left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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