I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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