is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
