that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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