Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
