We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
