peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
