His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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