do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
