I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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