The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
