There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
