Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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