Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
