how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
