Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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