I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
