What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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