Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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