I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
