How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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