Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
