So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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