The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize