i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
