i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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