The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
