we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
