So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
