he shaved USA in his pubs
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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