I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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