question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Terrible idea I love it
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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