I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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