The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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