thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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