you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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