brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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