that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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