Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize