it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
well you can't waste a boner
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
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This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
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I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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