I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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