The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I have post one night stand depression
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
