I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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