Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Let's get the cat blown out
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
