My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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