We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
