Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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