Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize