Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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