I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
