i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
