feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
