question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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