Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
