Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
FUCK WHALES
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize